To color or not to color...that is the question!

The Other "N" Word

So I have a friend that refuses to refer to her hair as being “nappy”. Even if her curls are dried out she will refer to them as a dried out curl, but never “nappy”. She hates that word. It made me think. Although I use the word I would imagine if I heard some one from another culture refer to my hair as nappy I would take extreme offense to it. I have overheard mothers refer to their biracial daughters hair as “nappy” and cringed. Or I think of when Imus called the Women’s Rutgers Basketball team a bunch of “nappy  headed hoes” how there was not a black women I encountered that was not completed offended, just as if he spewed out the other “N” word. Apparently I...we hate the word too. 

With this type of conflicted feelings on the adjective, I have determined that nappy may be the other “N” word. Obviously no way near as painful or socially unaccepted, but derogatory nonetheless. Although we are hundreds of years away from slavery,  this word like the other "n" word the sting is still being felt. Where did this word come from? Who used it and why? Why naps? I did a little research and tada….it stems from slavery.

Originally it was used to describe fabric. Apparently the fuzzy surface layer on yarn was referred to as “Naps”. This is dating all the way back to 14^th and 15^th century England brought there by the Dutch weavers. The Dutch would have called them “noppich”. So now fast forward to the 18^th and 19^th Century in the United States this is what whites would use to describe the texture of the African’s hair. So the African's hair looked like cotton, or naps. That is how they saw it. It was just as foreign as the African’s skin tone. It was not a term used endearingly, it promoted the way too accepted views of the African's inferiority in terms of beauty.

So what is the long drawn lesson from this tid bit in History? Don’t be mad at those who don't want to be called nappy…say dried up curls. For me I am going to work on letting people know where the word comes from and letting them decide what to do with the info. Maybe some creative Naturalistas can coin a new term for “you need to moisturize your hair”.

Naturally Snobby?

Every Naturalista at some point made a decision that chemically altering her hair was no longer on the “hair routine” table. We were all shocked by the soda can melting while in a tub of sodium hydroxide (key component of hair relaxer), in Chris Rock’s “Good Hair”. Also things such as time, costs, and overall health of the hair likely influenced most as well. We all have our reasons for deciding to embrace a relaxer free hair routine. For me, as an example, going natural seemed like the only way to keep hair on my head. After years on hair breakage and chemical burns, I figured I would try anything to get off the rollercoaster that my relaxing addiction had me on. I had to get off…my sanity was at stake. Seven years later I have a full head of healthy non-chemically altered hair. 

This change of view on how to take care of our hair has been amazing to watch. We are starting to embrace more of our own beauty versus harping on the beauty that of other cultures. I do believe that all people are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with versatility. But for too long our hair in its natural state has been looked as either unattractive or radical reflecting a political stance. To see women of all different backgrounds accept their own hair is verifiably revolutionary in an environment where few forms of beauty is accepted.

Even in this moment of acceptance, has a new discriminatory culture begin to take form? A sub culture of Naturalistas that look down on women who are still relaxing their hair has begun to rear its little self righteous head. Yes…I myself have been guilty of preaching on the dangers of the “creamy crack” addiction. And yes, I have been pushy. But it has always been the chemical I was speaking against, not the person who wanted their hair straight. It was not until I hosted a Natural Hair Care Party that I had a friend of mine, who has relaxed hair, express to me she felt that Naturalistas can be a bit snobby when it comes to her decision to keep her hair relaxed, that I became aware of this attitude. The feeling is not that of encouragement  she was clear that there was a judgmental attitude that was running rampant.  At first I kind chalked it up to my friend over thinking the situation, but over time I have noticed attitude of superiority of some of my fellow Naturalistas. I want to go on record as saying that this type of  “I am better than you because of my hair” attitude is played out. This is the same exact type thinking that has been poisoning our community for years. Why would anyone think something as trivial as hair would reflect who a person is? What does that sound like? 

We are all beautiful and have the right to wear our hair whichever way we choose. We as Naturalistas, she be promoting healthy, hair not going on a campaign to belittle those who are straighten their hair chemically or by any other means. The issue in my eyes is that fact that we would use a dangerous chemical to straighten our hair. I would never look down on someone who wants to alter their hair…that is normal. Every culture changed hair color, goes from curly to straight, or straight to curly. There is not just one way to look, we can switch it up like everyone else.  How you go about it, is what needs to be discussed. Besides, we have all been around women in our own community who are judgmental of our curls, kinks, and locs. Both attitudes are wrong. We as women need to start looking to build each other up not tear down with condescending looks and comments. We should shun that type of thinking since it mimics the thinking that taught us, as black women to look down on our own beauty. So ladies, let’s be aware of how we speak on relaxers making sure we highlight the negatives on the chemical not those who choose to use them.